Google reCaptcha reCraptcha

11. Dezember 2018

Dear companies all around the world,

fucking bicycle puzzle

if you're using reC(r)aptcha I'm out of your business. Just go and fuck yourself. reCaptcha is shit.


No, I don't allow third party code in your fuckin' webforms. That's why I installed the µMatrix browser extension.

No, I don't allow yours or googles cookies to remain in my file system. That's why I delete it after each browser session.

No, I also don't allow some other data to be stored. You have just no fuckin' right to do this.

No, I don't allow you tracking me. I know you don't care, so nor do I and try to wipe all tracking informations you ask for.

No, I didn't set my primary language along with my primary location. You have no friggin' right to ask for my languages.

And yes, I do use VPNs and proxies. I even pay money for these services to battle you. 

(By the way, if you ask me for using facebook to log in, and related stuff is in my "hosts" file. Linking to , you know what it means? None of my computers will even send a request to facebook. )


So, what happens if I try to use your webform?

  1. I fill all the required fields. For example a checkout buying something online ... Name, Adress, blablabla, credit card number, blabla
  2. Click on "submit"
  3. get an error: captcha not checked. Wait, what? What captcha?
  4. disable µMatrix, reload page. See checkbox, and all previously filled forms are empty again.
  5. fill again
  6. find and check "I'm not a robot". Bildbeschreibung
  7. Google forces me to search things on pictures. Well, I have visited the USA sometimes, so I know how buses look in USA. Or traffic lights. Or storefronts. Or hydrants. Maybe, some day a nice fairy gives me superpower for one day, I swear, I WILL force all Google employees to find hydrants in pictures of german street scenes. And this will not be funny at all, indeed.   
  8. When I'm done, Google asks me for bicycles. Or "vehicles". Again and again and again and again. And again. And then once more. After that still more. fucking bus puzzle
  9. If I'm lucky enough and didn't stop at some point, I get a green check in the box. Bildbeschreibung
  10. But now I missed some other checkbox in the form. I click on submit again, but have a different error. I'm searching through, fixed my mistake, but needed more than 50 seconds. 
  11. The reCraptcha checkbox lost its green checkmark
  12. goto 6.
  13. In the second and all further loops the journey through US american photo albums gets longer. Nice, some more buses (or whatever you call bus there. I would name it "person tractor" or so.)

So, in all that time, I could open LibreOffice, write a letter, print it, put it in an envelope, ride to the post office, stamp it and send it instead. And would be faster and happier. 

fucking vehicle puzzle

Dear DHL, dear Europäische Reiseversicherung, dear ... 

if your webmasters are too stupid or too busy or too lazy to make protect your data and resources on your own, give them more money. There's life beyond google and facebook. I will ask your competitors for my needs. 


Fare well!




Dies und das - nothing to declare

Global genervt, locally nervous.
Ab und an habe ich auch mal was zu sagen. Wenn auch nichts zu melden. Oder umgekehrt? Egal, kommt hier rein.

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Have fun!